~*angie's lil reverie*~

Feeling Helpless

I was caught in the rain.

At that moment, I felt so helpless with no umbrella. I could only walk in the rain, trembling in cold. A great sense of loneliness swept over me. I felt as in I was all alone in the world.

As I was walking in the rain, I wish somebody could pass me some towel or just give me a hug to give me the warmth that I needed. It was really that cold. I was basically shivering like hell.

I am also that helpless in the working environment. There is nobody who will actually help me. Ultimately, I have to help myself. This is the real world.

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Angeline winks
at |9:59 PM| 0 comments

Lost in the Woods

I had a wonderful gathering with my secondary school friends last Sunday. They are friends whom I may meet twice in a year, yet we would feel as close as before. Whenever we meet up (which occurs like once in a blue blue moon), we would talk about old school days and update one another about our jobs or life. Though I was really tired after working for so many days, I truly enjoyed their company and had a great time. They make me feel good and make me feel that I am still the same old Angeline.

Over these 6 mths, many things have happened and I have to admit that I have changed. For the better or worse? I don't know. I realize I used to be able to talk freely and confidently in front of a group of friends. But now, I have changed to a follower. A blind follower. To put it in a blunt way, I feel like a puppet. I no longer knows what I want in life, and all I do now is to follow, follow and just follow. I feel really sad for myself.

Anyway, I had a heart to heart talk with this guy. He has always been the joker since secondary school days, yet the things he told me are so sensible and practical. He kinda makes me wake up from my ideas. He kinda knew what I was thinking and he cleared my doubts in a way. I am very envious of him as he really knows what he wants in life, be it his career or relationship. He simply knows what he wants.

Knowing what you want in life is very important, but sadly, I have yet to find out what I really want in life.

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Angeline winks
at |5:38 PM| 0 comments

iPod Video

I was never into gadgets.

But, this new invention of Apple simply caught my eyes. I love it so much that I nearly wanted to buy it immediately from some ulu electronics shop in front of me.

Witness the evolution of the revolution. First it played songs. Then photos. Then podcasts. Now iPod plays video, changing the way you experience your music and more. Again. In lighter, thinner 30GB and 60GB models starting at $299, the new iPod is music to your eyes.

I would think it's a good buy considering that it can play videos and even store photos! What's more, the image is freaking clear! Trust me, if you ever get hold of this iPod Video, I bet you would be very tempted to own this cool gadget.

No doubt my wishlist for this Christmas would be THIS. Any volunteers?

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Angeline winks
at |10:54 AM| 0 comments

Monday, November 21, 2005

Words from my heart

I just had a wonderful jog and I felt really good after the jog. Maybe I should jog more often rather than going clubbing with friends since jogging also helps to relieve stress.

......

Anyway, my friend was telling me that though I kept telling myself that I must get commission this month, my actions didn't really reflect my words. In a way, I agreed with her. Why is it so? Is it because I do not have the hunger for sales or money? Since young, no matter what I do, I always make sure I will try my best and get the best results. I was never a failure in anything, but now, I really feel like a loser. Why is it so? What has happened to me? Seriously, I had lost all the confidence I had.

There are times in which I feel like I am really a let down. Everybody around me has been encouraging me, yet I seem to be the one giving up on myself. Sigh. Maybe my friend is right, I have given up subconsciously, that's why I am unable to deliver the results. Is it true? Maybe.

I keep asking myself why is it that most of my MT mates can make it. But why not me? Are they smarter than me? I don't think so. Is there something very wrong with me or what? Or is it that I am really that stupid? Sigh.

Anyway, I read this from my friend's blog, "When you feel like you have the worst job in the world, find back the reason why you chose this job in the first place". Think hard about this and you may simply find the reason why you should just stay on in the job.

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Angeline winks
at |10:35 PM| 0 comments

Saturday, November 19, 2005

SHOCKING NEWS

Captain Roy Keane has sensationally left Manchester United by mutual consent, the club has announced. Keane himself said: 'Whilst it is a sad day for me to leave such a great club and manager I believe that the time has now come for me to move on.'

This came as a shock to me. I was not expecting this, at least in this year. As a Man Utd fan, I felt really upset over his departure from Old Trafford. Afterall, he has been with us for so many wonderful years.

As what Rudd had said, Keane will always be with us.

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Angeline winks
at |5:22 PM| 0 comments

Friday, November 18, 2005

Missing You

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think tat he/she doesn't miss u?

Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling.

U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to him/her.

Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.

Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her.

Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs.

Sitting in front of the television but thinking of him/her, missing the final episode of your favorite show.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u was out together.

Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams, plans, future.

Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.

When u realize that he/she isn't online and did not return your page, u will start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up I guess.

It exposes u to loneliness.

It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone.

U knows that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her.

But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible.

U feels as if u is being left alone.

So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them know.

At the same time, ask if they miss u.

Don't let the feeling of missing someone becomes jealousy or paranoia.

If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know......

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Angeline winks
at |11:13 AM| 0 comments

Read each and every statement carefully

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

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Angeline winks
at |11:10 AM| 0 comments

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Time for some serious thinking

My friends and I went to some ULU pub last night. There was basically NOBODY except us. We drank like crazy and just played around in the pub since nobody was there anyway. I would say it was very fun as we could basically do whatever we want! We even requested them to change songs since we were the only customers down there. This goes to show that sometimes, going to some ulu pub to club is better than squeezing with the crowd at some so-called popular pub. Ultimately, what really matters is the company.

Fun came with a price. I was feeling damn tired for the whole day at work. I think I should sleep early tonight, like maybe at 11pm?

......

Well, my boss had finally asked me the question which I had been waiting for him to ask.

However, I had no idea how to answer him. I just gave him a blank look, hoping that he would change subject so that the situation would not be so weird. Seriously, I have been asking myself the same question for the past few weeks, but till now, I still can't give him a definite answer as well.

I had promised him that I would think carefully over the question and give him an answer as soon as possible. Maybe I can think about the question when I'm about to sleep tonight.

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Angeline winks
at |10:24 PM| 0 comments

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Woman vs Man

Man always complain that they find it hard to understand Woman. Similarly, I find it hard to understand Man as well.

Though I must admit that I have many good guy friends, which may imply that I may have a better understanding of Man, I still find that Man can be so mysterious at times.

If understanding Woman is like solving a simultaneous question without calculator, understanding Man would be like calculating the future value of money without financial calculator. Don't understand what am I talking? Seriously, I have no idea what point am I driving at too. That's why I say it's hard to understand Woman, and Man.

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Angeline winks
at |8:34 PM| 0 comments

I'm so lucky

I have been trying to type something for my blog for the whole afternoon, but somehow or rather, I just can't put my feelings to words. I do have lots of things on mind, but it just seems like I have so much to say that I have no idea how should I start.

......

Many things had happened over the past few weeks. I was kinda affected by all these things happening around me, but it was then I realize I am in fact a very lucky girl.

I may not be very pretty nor smart. But, at least I am being loved by people around me. Though I am not very successful in my current job, I have gained much more important things from the past few mths of working experience.

I came to realize that nothing beats family kinship. My family has always been there for me during all this while.

I came to realize that I have a wonderful bf who has been always so supportive of me.

Also, I came to realize that many of my friends do care for me.

I also came to realize that I am quite blessed as compared to some other people.

I do have a good life, don't you think so?

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Angeline winks
at |4:01 PM| 0 comments

Friday, November 11, 2005

Crying Baby No More

I had no idea what came over me on Wednesday. I totally broke down and I couldn't stop crying in the office.

At that moment, I just felt that I needed to cry it out to make myself feel better. True enough, after crying for awhile, everything was back to normal.

My sm also had a small talk with me later in the day. After talking to my sm, I felt much better and most importantly, she kinda gave me the motivation and confidence to fight on in this job. What she had said was very true, it's very important to stay positive everyday no matter how bad the previous days had been.

Moreover, I feel that I'm in fact a very lucky girl. I do have my family, bf and many wonderful friends who actually care a lot for me. Thus, I should really stay happy not only for myself, but for those people who care for me. >_<

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Angeline winks
at |10:31 PM| 0 comments

Friday, November 04, 2005

Depression Sinks In

Here I am in the office, feeling really depressed.

Nobody can understand how I feel. In fact, I have no idea why am I so depressed right now.

Though I want to have good sales this month, I wish I hadn't closed that sale. It's making me feel really bad. Sigh.

To make things worse, even my good friend doesn't understand how I'm feeling.

Maybe I am just not suitable to be a sales person.

I am really feeling horrible now.

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Angeline winks
at |7:53 PM| 0 comments

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Lazing Around

It's public holiday and I'm staying at home.

I used to think that it would be such a waste to stay at home on a public holiday, but I seriously think otherwise now. All I want to do now is to stay at home and just slack around, basically doing nothing. This reminds me of my post-graduation days in which I would just laze around in front of my pc while munching on snacks with no concern of what's happening around me.

Last year at this period of time, I was still mugging for exams. Time flies, isn't it? This time round, while most of my friends are mugging for their exams, I am rotting at home. I even went to party last night. For once, I'm glad that I belong to the working group.

However, my happiness is short-lived. It's time to go back work again tomorrow.

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Angeline winks
at |3:12 PM| 0 comments

Fading Faith

As a devoted Man Utd fan, I really have nothing to say about the recent performance of the team. I am utterly disappointed with their performance and sometimes, I wish there is a hole for me to hide my face.

Gone were the days in which I knew that if I were to have a bet with my friend, Man Utd team would not disappoint me for sure.

What has happened to Man Utd?

It's kinda sad to say that, but seriously, I have grown used to see Man Utd not doing well in recent days. No matter how hard I try to deceive myself, I myself know that Man Utd is no longer the team which all the other teams used to fear to play against.

It's no longer our reign.

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Angeline winks
at |12:27 PM| 0 comments